Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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