Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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