She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
