I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
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