is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
