is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
