If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
