Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
