I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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