i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
