When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
