Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
