you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
