are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
