it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
