is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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