Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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