I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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