I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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