i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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