trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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