he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
