i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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