Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
