oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize