Non-Jews are for practice
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
