I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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