she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
