Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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