Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
