Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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