I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
