He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
