escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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