I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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