he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
