ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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