hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
