But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
