i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
