And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
