WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
