That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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