So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
