The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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