so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i drank out of a bidet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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