I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
