No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
