I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
