so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
