This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ruined the universe
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
