friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Drake has all the answers
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
